Nelson (Jan. 2018)
It was the mantra he repeated to himself through his lowest moments, the mantra that changed everything he was, but also, it was a peek into his near future and a reflection on the journey he had already made:
“You’re an egg, you don’t know who you are, but one day, you will hatch”
Yes, for Nelson Mendes, this was the string of words that allowed him to bring himself out of the emotional hole he had been dug into right when he believed little could go wrong. This was the mantra that created the summation of one man’s childhood and teenage years, cracking open the door to his tomorrow and to an understanding of self.
Many would be quick to label Nelson as a designer after seeing that he has founded his own successful company, ‘Svnk Face’, fresh out of high school with the vision of a brand that constructs unique shirts, hats, cups, stickers and, originally, skateboards (though he never sold a single one) identified by his own artwork. But Nelson himself doesn’t even know if that’s what he is, admitting he has no idea how to label himself, as he never decided to become a ‘designer’, an ‘artist’ or the person he is today, truthfully, he has come to this point unexpectedly, yet, it seems as though this is the spot he was meant to be in, whether or not it was planned. It is this lifelong campaign for self-discovery that has led the 18-year-old to his current work, current self and, most importantly, current goal of inspiring others to find their wings.
The further one goes into Nelson’s past, the more they understand that he was always been poised for this style of work, evident in the way he grew up and the characteristics he exemplified from a young age. Most notably, as far back as he can remember, Nelson found comfort in drawing. Whether or not he believes he was good at it, drawing became a nirvana that allowed Nelson to escape the daily routines and constant expectations floating around his head. Once while growing up, Nelson stole the notebook of a cousin, ripping the pages out and attempting to recreate the images himself, or some days, giving his best shot at visualizing the character he grew up with, Naruto. Though, this connection with art, creativity, and anime had led Nelson to feel like an outsider, one who fit into no groups and whose interests were uninteresting or uncool to everyone else. One could argue these are the feelings that Nelson hopes to eradicate with his clothing and overall company, praying that once the shirt is placed upon the chest of an individual, they truly feel as though they are part of a family.
Oddly enough though, family was something Nelson had been looking for in his own manner, his youth started off in a way one wouldn’t pick by choice, having an absent father and being forced to search for someone to look up to. Though, he would tell you himself that this experience was essential towards his current character, whether or not he actually noticed the absence, as the father figure he would eventually find would push him somewhere he had never expected. But before finding him, he needed to move to California, heading for the trip with his mother and single brother at the age of seven, leaving their former home in Texas behind and blossoming the opportunity for a young Nelson to grow and develop the artistry he grew a yearning to pursue.
Years passed with relative ease up until middle school, difficulty finally arising from an uncertainty of self. The pain of puberty mixed with a sense of alienation from peers led Nelson to seek someone for guidance, it led him towards the man who would change everything, becoming the parental puzzle piece he had been missing for a lifetime. He had never met the man, never spoke to him, he had only heard his voice. And truthfully, the man himself was only a broke teenager who grew up in a seemingly parallel life to Nelson’s. Creatives since birth, absent fathers, LA natives, both alienated in school, self-taught and self-made, the list is endless. But, there is one diversion in their stories, while one was a middle school kid completely unsure who he was, the other had started to figure it out, labeling themselves with a stage name: Tyler, the Creator.
Tyler’s music and brand became an addiction for Nelson (who had now recharged his love for art) and gave him a sense of what he wanted to see in himself. Tyler became an idol, a father and an inspiration for the now maturing artist (interestingly enough, when they now see each other in LA Tyler jokes that Nelson is always growing a little taller, catching up in height as if like a son outsizing his dad). Nelson disallowed any other music to hit his ears and when he was on the internet ever so rarely, he was scouring Odd Future message boards for those who had become as obsessed as him, hoping to find a solace in the possibility that he wasn’t again alienated for his passions. But after seeing what Tyler had created, he truly believed he could do the same with his artwork, wanting to sell it on mediums beyond a canvas. In the coming months he designed and labeled his first ever clothing company, DT, making 3 distinct pieces and excitedly sharing them with the same online community he became close with. He was harshly criticized and deflated, leading to a pause on his clothing dream. Nelson had no knowledge of the number of failures Tyler may have had before Odd Future, instead only knowing the final outcome, leading him to believe his first ventures’ collapse was the end of the line.
Of course, this was just the beginning of his clothing story and soon he would experience a moment that would change his brand drastically. This story happens to be quite personal to Nelson, asking for information to be sparse yet for the important elements to be amplified. With that in mind, it took place on Nov. 19, 2014, a now high school Nelson had found himself in the usual lost teenager situation: confusion, constant questioning and drugs. It was night like any other, with him and his friends going out to the local train station to pick up whatever they could from wanderers in the darkness. Whatever had gone into his body was much more potent than expected, leaving Nelson on the ground in a feeling that he was near death. Though, once he was able to bring himself to a mirror to see if that was true, he saw an image that would become branded into his mind. His face, melting down and decaying without any way to reattach the skin. For days Nelson couldn’t focus on anything but this face, drawing it everywhere and giving it a title: the sunken face. Something in his mangled face spoke to him and lit his passions ablaze, and thus, he began his current brand, Svnkface (the v being used because he hated the look of the ‘u’).
A plan was born immediately after, concepts and designs constantly emerging from his newly powered (and drug-free) creativity. Along with his plan, he jotted goals down, hoping to have a certain number of sales and a proven path to success in his allocated time frame. Again another failure struck Nelson as he only sold 3 shirts in 3 months, but this time, determination and experience were on his side, as well as the support of the man he has been looking up to since the beginning. Yes, after years of admiration and months of growing the brand itself, Tyler, the Creator himself had bought clothing from Nelson, finding out after meeting him for the first time at the GOLF fashion show through mutual friends. The moment made Nelson feel whole. Not only had his idol recognized him, but also supported him, the man he saw as a father was proud of him, and finally he was given the reassurance in himself he had been longing for his entire life. His brand saw a success afterwards that was exponential beyond belief as having one of the top youth tastemakers enjoy your work introduces an entire new realm of fans and willing shoppers. At that moment, all seemed perfect, all seemed to be where it was meant to be. The point he stood upon felt as though it was the peak.
But at the end of the day success, praise and affirmation were still not answering any of his questions, not telling him what he needed to know. He truthfully was still the same kid internally. If it was some consolation, he had learned who Svnkface was, who that teenager who idolized Tyler was, and ultimately learned that obsession had caused a loss of self. There was no Nelson anymore, there was only Svnkface. The realization that he was just the shadow of a man he idolized swept the rug right from under his feet, leaving him to fall endlessly, sinking into a depression deeper than ever felt before. Truthfully, how can one blame him? In that moment his reality of self-had shattered, the person he thought he was gone, feeling his personality nonexistent. He attempted everything to bring himself out: mediation, putting his brand on pause, going to Disneyland for the first time, lucid dreaming. Nothing he forced worked. What did eventually succeed? Well, a lot of help from his incredibly supportive girlfriend, but also, the same escape as always, drawing. Nelson drew and drew, this time being obsessed with the concept of an egg, the concept of hatching, the idea he had to come out from the shell he built for himself throughout adolescence. He repeated it to himself every day, and eventually, it happened:
“You’re an egg, you don’t know who you are, but one day, you will hatch”
The egg is now the identifying image for all the clothing coming from the Svnkface brand and represents the entire journey Nelson has had to go through to find who he is, all the trials, tribulations, failures, it all led to this. And amazingly, he has hatched a greater man he ever dreamed: more determined, accepting of his flaws, wiser, calmer, listening to new music (for once in his life) and finally, understanding of what he represents.
He built the brand as a kid who was scatterbrained and unsure of life beyond high school, excluded and as Tyler the creator would describe, a total goober. But these are the people Nelson has always hoped to touch and inspire, those whose clothing choices are outlandish, who hate where they live, those without mentors, those who get picked on in the schoolyard, those not invited to parties, it’s for individuals who can truly say they are themselves no matter what. He wants kids to know what he didn’t know when he was younger, the fact that being cool in the ways society tells you is overrated, that honest and pure ‘coolness’ comes from embracing every part of your personality and every single passion you hold near and dear to your heart. The clothing is stitched with the hopes that those without a voice become empowered, finally becoming heard over all the clutter of daily life. Simply put, Nelson is a champion for the alienated youth, hoping to teach the lessons he’s learned through negative experience with others possibly going through the same. And in words of Tyler, the Creator (the master of being himself):
“I think I’m cool, That’s all that matters”