Neil Macleod (June 2019)

Evident with every passing day, much of our daily purpose exists within the pursuit of a purpose itself, seeking answers to universal misunderstandings. While Neil MacLeod is in pursuit of such truths, he realizes it is just as important to seek the beauty which exists between the confusions. In that sense, he attains to brighten our existences through creation and through developing ideologies. He is seeking to fill the gaps with positivity instead of stagnation and fear.

Residing in New Zealand and born in the UK, MacLeod is no stranger to the whimsy an inspiration can have upon an artist. He grasps the hauntingly gorgeous emotions of daily beauty, the ever overwhelming success in daily life’s ability to stun us all. And through that understanding, he creates a mirror of what he experiences. He shares the feeling in forms consumable and resonating, free to share and to grow a life of their own.

In truth, Neil’s pursuit is one of an even balance between selflessness and personal fulfillment. It’s a precarious tightrope of knowing how much to give and how much to take from the artistic world. But as he stands high above, balancing and creating, he’s able to stand sure he won’t fall. He won’t fall as there is balance and beauty. He is able to stand tall because he contributes to the beauty he loves daily, leaving it stronger for the next walker of that precarious tightrope.

Our first question as always, how’s your days going and how are you as of late?

My day has gone really well, my girlfriend’s sisters, and parents were here over the last couple of days so I actually took a little time off from making music for once. It was actually quite nice to spend some time being sociable with people who aren’t concerned with music. Today’s my day of getting back into things. Lately, things have really just been generally positive, a lot of exciting things getting planned.

To really begin by taking it back to start, how did your environment look growing up and how did it put you upon the path of being an artist and did early experiences in that time help with that?

It’s interesting because I’ve tried to analyze that before. I’ve read a lot of biographies and listened to a lot of podcasts about musicians. It seems like a lot of musicians grew up fully immersed in music since day one. And truthfully that wasn’t my experience. Neither of my parents are particularly musical, instrumentally, but they love music endlessly and exposed it to me as a kid. It was never a focus in my early life though. My parents just pushed me to be expressive and creative, allowing me to go down any lane I wanted to. They encouraged my artistic lifestyle. I think the reason I dared to chase a musical career was due to their open-mindedness. A lot of young people are told that being an artist isn’t a job, and I was fortunate enough to grow up believing that it could be. That probably pushed me more than anything. It was just by chance I chose music, I loved painting just as much and right up to leaving home, I thought I’d be a painter. But in the end, I never found a medium that quite connected me to other people or myself more than music, so I pursued that.

When you first got into the musical space, what were the early influences, not just in music, and how do you compare them to your current inspirations?

They’re really different. My very first love was choral music. I was in a choir as a young boy. I remember how inspiring the sound of a group of voices traveling across a church was. I liked the social aspect of it and the spiritual aspect of it, too. That was how I developed a voice I suppose. And from there it was folk music. I really connected with the idea of storytelling through music. It stimulated me, those stories formed great pictures in my head when I listened to them. As time passed I started getting exposed to electronic music coming from the UK and it took over. Eventually, I found a happy space between the two worlds.

In your eyes, what was the vision of that early artist you used to be and what was the purpose of pursing of the project?

Well, I never really thought anyone was ever gonna give a damn about what I did. I never put out music expecting people to listen to it, so it was really surprising to me when people started responding positively. My early intentions were personal; to tell my stories to those who’d listen and to self-heal in the process. It’s not like that anymore, but that was how it started.

Through that process of growing and coming into your own, what were some of your best memories that stick from it?

I have two I think that really stick. I was born in England and I have family there and in Scotland. My Grandma has this beautiful 100 plus year-old house. I remember visiting this property when I was about 7 and walking around the destroyed outskirts of the place. That was beautiful, I felt as if I’d entered another world. Secondly, I grew up in a place called Christchurch in New Zealand and we experienced some pretty awful earthquakes when I was younger that took a lot of lives. That wasn’t beautiful, but in the aftermath, many buildings became what’s called ‘red zoned’ which meant they were unsafe to enter. Of course, my friends and I went exploring them straight away. There’s a river that runs across Christchurch called the Avon, so we got on a kayak visit these run-down places. It was really spooky but also exciting, it felt kind of like that movie Stand By Me. That thrill of being young and on an adventure. That sensation was beautiful.

To move into that idea of exploring yourself, with this new project it’s all about unfolding, and you’ve just unfolded childhood, but how have you taken up that process and what does it mean to you to unfold as a whole?

One thing I’d like to make clear is that I’d gone through this ‘unfolding’ process before finishing the record. For me, making the record was a way to solidify my understanding of things that had happened during that time. The ‘unfolding process’ itself allowed me to grow as a person. I was facing internal and external issues at the time, which required serious personal development in order to get through them. I let old parts of myself die, and made room for new, brighter ones. It felt like I unfolding myself, hence the title of the EP, ‘To Unfold’. My music had been very dark prior to this record and I was getting tired of that. I didn’t want to be defined by negativity. To be emotionally vulnerable on the record was still important to me, but I’d learned new ways of doing that, without only indulging in the dark moments. I decided to make an emotional record, but one that left listeners with a feeling of hope, not of sorrow.

And on top of yourself what changes did you make to your process in production and writing the actual songs differently in your approach?

I used to be so private and would never show anyone my music until it was finished. I was very guarded and secretive until I met this amazing guy named Devin Abrams, a prolific New Zealand producer. We just clicked with one another. He sacrificed his time to help me make this project, and working with him was a learning process in itself. Before recording this EP, I’d never really sung in front of somebody, just one on one. After we finished the project, I felt like a better artist and human. I felt this new confidence in myself and as a writer, singer, and collaborator. In New Zealand, there’s a slightly unhealthy romanticism attached to the DIY attitude. I think I’d absorbed some of that because up until making this record, I felt that I was a cheat if I asked for help. Devin really helped me break that down and recognize the beauty in collaboration in order to make something better.

Would you say that this process to you as an artist has been a realization of who you are and has it been a complete shift in your artistic ideals?

I’ve realized a lot of things, and some of my ideas have shifted. Life is complex and I struggle to completely sum up any of my experiences fully. This ‘unfolding process’ has meant growth as a human being and as an artist, both of which I could talk about forever. Catharsis is a good word for what I went through - and I’m still going through it, especially when performing the songs live. It’s one thing for two people to work on some songs in private. It’s another thing entirely, to be in front of a live audience, it requires an intense amount of vulnerability. It’s often quite hard to revisit those darker songs, but there’s power in it, and new things are revealed to me each time I do so.

In your process of creating music, do you feel a need to make your own wave and shift the norms of today’s sounds or are you happy joining in on ongoing ideas?

I don’t want to make ‘my own wave’ as such. I know that I’m standing on the shoulders of giants at all times. I’ve been informed by so many incredible artists. I hope to make music that’s unique but I’m never upset by comparisons as it’s just an honor that anyone gives my music the time of day. I’m grateful for any categorization. If there’s any ‘wave’ I’m trying to form, it’s concerned with getting everyday people into music that challenges them - both in terms of emotion but also production and songwriting. I want people to see that conventions can break in a good way.

So then, what do you feel is the next building block for you as an artist and what avenues are necessary to go down in the coming future?

I have to think of that all the time because it’s hard to get by as an artist, it’s not the easiest route in terms of making a living so I’m always thinking about how I’m going to build on where I’m at. My current estimation is that I need to go traveling. I want to take this music and present it to other cultures and meet more people and experiment more with my sound through collaboration. On the business side of things I’m still trying things out, It’d be great to capture label attention, but that comes with time. My main priority is to make fresh and beautiful music, so as long as I can do that, I’m on the right track.

In terms of that live experience you mentioned earlier, what does it look like to you and what does it truly mean to share your vulnerability in that space?

I think there are two sides to that coin, there’s the personal and the shared experience. I think live music is one of the most powerful forces we’ve got. Being surrounded by strangers all engaged in one moment is very special and I think right now people need nothing more than connection to one another. Performance has an important social function and I try to consider that. On the personal side of things, I need to live up to my own standards. It’s possible to over-rehearse. I’m cautious of that because I don’t want to be on stage singing about something intimate and not feel intimately connected with it. I work really hard on staying well rehearsed, whilst remaining emotionally connected with the music.

If one is to go to your show, what feelings and experience do you want them to be able to go home with? Is it simply the ringing in their ears or is there more to it?

I never want to limit anyone’s experience by outlining what they should feel. That said, I think there’s a lot of darkness floating around in the world and that it is worthwhile to contrast that with beauty. I want the audience to feel they’ve experienced something beautiful.

Then what is beauty to you in a live setting and how does it feel to an individual?

I use the word beauty loosely. In my eyes, it’s anything that has a positive effect on people. Beautiful experiences, inspire and connect people. I’d like my live show to do the same.

What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experienced?

I remember being on a plane at some young age, going back to the UK and I was traveling by myself. There was this small child, just old enough that they could walk. They came over to me and began sharing toys, playing, and trying to talk with me. Most people just ignored the child, but I embraced that moment. It left me with this tingling feeling of connection. The beauty of that moment was due to how rare it was. It’s not often you interact with someone who has no ulterior motive and just aims to share a moment in time with you, no strings attached, consumed by the joy of your company.

To you, is part of vulnerability also being youthful or are you trying to be mature and put that aside?

I think that there’s something to be said to that point, I think vulnerability can look like a youthful return. As you’ll see with any really small child they are not insecure like us ‘adults’ and they do not come with an agenda, they’re just themselves. There is something to be learned from that. I think being mature and going through adolescence is important… we all need to ‘grow up’ - but there are moments where we could all embrace that inner child.

Do you feel as of right now you’re happy with how vulnerable you are and how you present yourself even though you’re still looking for the last pieces of yourself?

I don’t think I’ll know who I am until I’m about to leave. I think that the fun of life is to go through the process of figuring it out. I want remain open to constant changes. I’m happy with how open I am. I think the best interviews are when artists are straight up and honest about how they feel. I think it’s a good way to be, for all people.

And as a final thought, and maybe the most vulnerable of all, what do you want when you leave the mark to be and what do you want the remembrance of you to be?

It’s a hard question. Legacy doesn’t matter much to me. It’s not what I’m working towards. I care more about how people feel about me now. My hope is that I do no harm, make beautiful things and make people’s lives better. I try to be there for my family and friends and the wider community. I would love to be a teacher at some point. I just want to go down as someone who worked really hard and did it for the sake of good.

Is there anyone you want to shoutout or anything you want to know you’ve said?

I have a tour coming up which I am proud of and excited for, (more info on my socials). In terms of people to shout out, there are just too many names to count. So to anyone who has helped me get here, I can’t thank you enough. And to all those who’ve yet to enter my life, I look forward to meeting you.