Harry Teardrop (Mar. 2019)
What’s past is prologue. What’s future is mystery. That is the dilemma Harry Teardrop existed with, that he wrestled, throughout his life. From a childhood of changing sceneries and faces never permanent, Harry had no knowledge of what tomorrow brought forth, no knowledge of where he was to slot into. All he had to hold onto was the remnants of yesterday; a fleeting confidence he could take a breath within. Yet, like a divine miracle, his outlook shifted and he learned to accept the now. He learned to be honest only to the hours he could control, not to that prologue or those mysteries.
The past, more so than anything, felt like chains to his emotional state. He felt as though he couldn’t leave the worries and heartbreaks of yesteryear to wither away, they stuck like gum in his hair. And if you know anything about gum in hair, you know that you can either pull it out slowly and painfully or just cut the hair off. With his latest work, Harry has opted to endure the pain all at once, to face every fear and to allow himself to feel what he has suppressed so intensely. He is revisiting a broken road with the hope that it will a pave a better tomorrow. And through such vulnerability, a sonic landscape of candor, confidence, and candidness has emerged.
Yes, Harry Teardrop has no clue to what reality he will wake tomorrow. But that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that he pours his soul into art itself, into the magic of creation. It’s the noble belief that another individual’s youthful confusion will be cured through his expression. Does he still have anxiety and his own questions? Absolutely. Though, he could care less. He is, for once, creating with total freedom, a mind free from doubt as to what his purpose is, as to what he is meant to be.
Harry Teardrop is, finally, living unshackled from prologue and unafraid of mystery, as so many hope to be. In doing so, he is artistically innovating with legitimacy that would speak to even the most overwhelmed, dazed minds. He is free and inviting all to join him in his humanistic independence.
This interview was recorded live in New York.
Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?
It’s been going good, I’ve just been hanging out with you the whole day. The weather was so nice though, when it’s warm in NY after the winter it makes you appreciate everything so much more.
With your time in New York, how would you say your creative energy has developed and evolved?
I think New York has helped me to blossom into a more serious artist. I still took it very seriously back in California, but no one else did. It was mostly for fun, but being around the high level of talent here has inspired me to elevate my art.
When you say people didn’t take you seriously back then, was that due to your youth or a misunderstanding of your artistic desires?
I don’t know. I always talk down on my high school experience, which is what the whole EP is about, just because there were a lot of kids who didn’t get it, which is understandable. I think for one I wasn’t as good as I am now, and I definitely still have room to grow, they were judging off that past talent. I think the main thing is where I went to high school. in Irvine, people are in a small town mentality, people there are brought to go to college, to get a good job, settle with kids. It’s very cyclical. They see someone trying to break out and very anti their way of life and they get defensive. I used to get roasted for it all, to be honest, one girl used to say I’d be homeless for pursuing art.
Did you feel with being brushed off and roasted it solidified what you were doing and that you were on the right path for yourself?
I think for the most part, yes, but it still stung a little as I wished that people understood where I was coming from. There were some people who were supportive and that’s awesome, but I really just want to start doing things creativity that makes everyone feel they can do the same, that they don’t have to be stuck in that mentality.
With this EP, you talk about those high school age problems, but, growing up as a whole, what sort of bumps in the road did you face and how did they shape who you are currently?
Growing up I moved around a lot because of my parent’s work and that was the biggest struggle I had, for the most part, I had a great childhood, my parents have always supported me, which is an awesome blessing. I think a lot of my music is about moving and it’s actually how I got into writing songs. When I moved from Shanghai to California, I would write lyrics and music as a coping method for the emotions I was dealing with. And that’s been the main theme in my music since then, leaving home and missing things. That’s maybe why people say my music is nostalgic because it is talking about the past in a sweet way.
How would you personally compare the move from Shanghai to California to the one from California to New York?
I think moving from Shanghai to California was a huge reverse culture shock. Even though I’m from America, moving back, especially to a new state, was so bizarre. Moving from California to New York was totally different. It was great as I was ready for a new start and because of that, I was eager. New York felt like a new opportunity that allowed everything to become possible.
Within those transitional times and your learning of yourself, what were some of your best childhood memories?
Most memories I have are positive, to be honest. But I always loved my time in Portland, which was before Shanghai. At the time I was really into soccer and also got into drums. Playing Pokemon and stuff like that was the extent of my existence back then. I also loved reading Dr. Seuss books and now realize the huge influence they’ve had upon on my life. They taught me about lyricism, the conviction in simplicity and the importance of rhythm in language as a whole.
What was your favourite Pokemon game growing up?
For sure Emerald.
And who was your starter when you played?
My first one was Torchic.
When you were having that first introduction to music and getting more into it, how did you realize you wanted to take it a step further than just a hobby and where did that push come from?
Well honestly, I was always into music and when I first started I wasn’t taking it seriously. I really just wanted to be a soccer player at the time. That was the dream. I was pretty good but not professional level. I was a huge fan of Manchester United and drum lessons were just something to get all of that endless energy out. My brother, who was playing guitar, took it more seriously and joined bands in middle school. But when I moved to China, the soccer wasn’t as good, so I weaned off it and got more into music. When I was in middle school, I started to embody the musician in me. I think the reason for that was my brother teaching me the guitar, which led me into bass, piano and singing. When soccer died, Music came up.
At the time that you were being shown that music from your brother and even going through that self-discovery, who were the largest inspirations upon you and what did yourself pulling from their work?
The biggest when I was a kid was the Strokes, Green Day, Sum 41 and Fall Out Boy. I loved pop punk. In hindsight, the reason was that they were playing with so much emotion yet still it was very intentional and forceful. It’s the kind of music you can’t look away from. You can either like it or dislike it, but you can’t ignore it. I also found myself being drawn to K-Pop and it shaping my recent development.
With your current work, it hasn’t been as punky and instead is more lighthearted, what’s been the mentality now compared to those original inspirations and what’s the current vision you hold?
I’m really trying to just channel all of my inspirations from all of my entire life into what I’m doing. There are punk elements, more inspired by My Bloody Valentine and Grimes, maybe not musically and more in the emotion, but it’s still there. But in terms of lighthearted stuff, it’s because I got into slow jazz in high school. Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, then later a blend through the 1975. The main three elements in my music are Jazz and Duwop, the punk and pop-punk styles as well as the 80s influence.
So in your mind, is Harry Teardrop a character which personifies all of those inspirations or is there more to him and his existence in your art?
So far, Harry Teardrop is not a character and is just a name for me. I want to separate him more from myself because there’s only so many ways you can talk about your own life before you want to try other stories. And for that I want Harry Teardrop to be a narrator. I want to channel my view of the world through him. I want him to be a journalist. That separation is so I can talk about things that aren’t rooted in reality, more dreamy or exaggerated situations.
Was there any significance to the Teardrop name you attached to and why is it that you chose it?
The name comes from a song by Suicide called Frankie Teardrop. My brother Drake showed me it in high school and he thought it was so sick, and I did too. It’s a fucked up song. It’s 10 minutes about a guy who murders his wife and kids. Drake, then he changed his Instagram handle to Drakeyteardrop and I changed mine to Harryteardrop. At the time, I was still going under DAIZY for music but when I went to college I looked up DAIZY and realized It was copyrighted so I just went for Harry Teardrop, but I do love it.
Specifically with this new EP, what do you believe Harry is journalizing? What is the story he’s trying to tell?
At this time, I’m just trying to document and shed light onto is the high school experience I had. I felt stunted creatively and as a person. I was stuck in the suburbs very bored and didn’t care for school as nobody understood what I wanted to do with my life. It’s about the frustration and hopes you have to hold onto because you can either give in or you can still hold onto the dream you have and keep being you. I think that I want to tell this story so people who are in that age range and are going through the same thing can know that they are not alone and that someone is looking out for them
When expressing such stories and emotions, do you feel you’re just putting yourself out there and hoping people resonate with it, or, are you aiming to reach people first and foremost?
It’s honestly a way to cope with my high school experience. I want people to resonate but the main goal is to release that energy so I don’t have to look back on high school with spite. After this, I’m moving on from it and looking at new areas, but it’s necessary for me as a catharsis.
Where does the title ‘1000 Backyard pools’ come from and what does it mean as a concept to you both as an artist and individual?
I was actually talking about this with my roommates the other day and I forgot that the story really started in an English class as I was writing songs in my notebook and planning EP ideas. But more so, 1000 Backyard Pools was an idea I was just writing in my notebook when bored. It comes from how when you’re flying over Orange County, you see a bunch of little pools down below, and that’s just a representation of my life and how it felt in the suburbs. Just being 1 of a million and not feeling unique. I was 16 in class and that has always stuck with me ever since.
Do you feel now that you’re more of an individual and has being in a new environment helped with eliminating that previous feeling?
Well, what I’ve started to realize is that I am one in a million in the sense there are 7 billion people and I’m very aware of that. But I think I am an individual. In that sense, it’s self-respect for realizing I’m unique but humbling that everyone feels the same way.
Would you say that feeling of individuality is the core of the project’s message or is there more you hope to get out with it?
I guess the core is anxiety and desperation, but also holding onto hope and other things. I talk about relationships and moving away and missing the past through transition.
Within your creation, do you feel human emotion and relationship to be a large part of what you’re trying to build upon and pull from?
Human connection is super important. It’s why people keep going and It’s what makes life worth living. It’s the connection you have. It’s the most important thing to me and my art.
Going forward, what do you think are the next steps for Harry Teardrop, or, are you undecided and is there anxiety of not knowing where to go with the project?
Both, I do have a real plan for what I want to do. This first EP is one of three. I think with the 3 EPs I’m trying to progress as an artist and say what I need to say before going into a more fleshed out project. Really my dream in life is to create an album, so that’s what I’m working towards, this is just preparation. I also just want to produce for other people and enjoy being young, which I forget to do sometimes.
Would you say then that you work too hard and forget to live?
Only recently as things have materialized pretty fast. I have a lot more confidence in myself and that has made me want to work on my projects. But I’m 19, almost 20, so I’m feeling the pressure to make it happen.
Do you believe because of the musical climate you’re in that youth is something to take advantage of or are you excited to grow up and have more maturity in your music?
In high school, I was set on being famous at 15, but it didn’t happen. I kept growing and I’m so ‘glad I wasn’t famous back then. I used to feel a lot of pressure to make it young but now that I’m in the industry and more conscious of my work, I definitely am ok with taking my time and allowing myself to learn about simplifying and polishing my music. Very much like Hemingway and Picasso. High consciousness in a childlike way.
Have you ever felt though that when simplifying, you’re also restricting your vision and not getting everything you want to say out?
It’s all about balance. That’s the main theme keeps me going. My mom was always the one putting that in my head. To be as balanced as possible.
With the EPs, what are your visions beyond just the musical sense? Are you trying to build a universe like Because the Internet or is there other parts to it coming together?
I’m working on this music video with Drake I’m really stoked about, we just fleshed out the concept. It plays around with dream logic. Dreams are the most interesting thing to me and as a kid, I was so excited to go to sleep and dream. I remember my first nightmare so vividly as well, I still don’t understand it. I was in a car with my dad and brother in New York and then this giant yeti monster came and scooped up snow and before we got hit I woke up.
Is it a goal of yours to incorporate dreams within your art and messages?
Into everything. That’s always what I’ve been most fascinated by. Both in the literal sense and also dreams in the aspirational sense.
I’ve heard you and Drake use the term ‘Dreamo’ a lot to describe the work you’re doing, how do you personally define that?
Dreamo is the genre that I’m trying to create for myself and whoever else wants to fit into it. It’s a combination of dreamy stuff and emo. But not emo necessarily how we perceive it, more just the emotional, heart on the sleeve stuff they do. In my case, it’s really just a progression of pop-punk.
Another aspect you’ve mentioned in the past is your care for live shows. How do you plan to bring this energy into the live setting and translate much of this vision?
I want to do an elaborate show with costumes and props but, that’s a long term goal once I get funding. In the meantime, I just want to let it marinate and work on new stuff. Then it can all come together with that larger project that I can put everything in every aspect into.
Is the ultimate goal then to create that one classic album that stands the test of time and cements everything you’ve put together?
That’s every artist’s dream honestly. My dream is to keep making albums. It doesn’t even need to be Harry Teardrop, any sort of music and albums. I try to think very short term. I was talking to Caleb about this the other day, and he’s someone who thinks in the very long term, but it just stresses me out. I just try to live in the moment as much as possible. I try to live by the idea that the past and the future are imaginary in that you can’t retrieve it or know what it holds, so exist within the present. And it makes me feel better.
Just to ask because I only just remembered it by noticing, what does your Pumpkin tattoo on your arm represent to you?
Oh yeah. My birthday is on Halloween and I got this on my 18th birthday. At the time I just thought it looked cool, but now it’s a reminder that my birthday is coming up and that I’m getting older and that my birthday is just another day. And in that sense, that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for just growing up/
As a whole then, what do you want the Harry teardrop legacy to be and what is the mark you wish to leave upon the music and artistic world?
For the next five years or so, I just want to make pop music because there’s such a power in it. It brings people together and makes them happy and teaches them something if you have a message in it. That’s the goal really. Going to NYU has taught me there’s such an art to the craft of pop songwriting, there so many decisions to make it sound as it does. That’s what I’m interested in that’s what I want to do. I want to also tour and see the world. I want to make friends and really get to know these people. Also, I want to represent Asian Americans as there is a lack of representation in music as a whole. There is such a stigma inside the Asian American community itself to steer away from the arts because it doesn’t make money. And because of that, there are a bunch of kids who feel no representation. It’s a paradox that these kids want to feel represented and they’re angry about it, but then they’re not taking the initiate due to being discouraged. It’s just the cycle I want to break.
So then, the goal is more so to be an inspiration and a sign of positivity?
Exactly, the overall goal for Harry Teardrop is to help people believe in their dreams. It sounds corny but it’s all that matters.
Do you have anyone to shout out or anything to promote? The floor is yours.
Shoutout my family, Kyrsten, all my Clive friends – Caleb, Ally, Jimmy. Shoutout Been Stellar, Claire, Deaton, Maxwell, Luke, Willie, and Aidan. Also Wes and Rohit, and really, all my friends. And to the people who listen to my music and actually care about what I have to say, you all make me so happy. Love you!